Well, here I am on a Friday night at home, on the computer, thanks to the ice....instead of down at my cabin in the woods.
I just got finished downloading another "book on tape" onto my Ipod Shuffle. I enjoy listening to it while working or driving. Mostly I like mystery or action type books, but, I have branched out on other kinds too. As a matter of fact, I have enjoyed several books by Daniel Steele. Of course, the wife commented on my reading "chick books".
Well hell, I thought us big ole rough and tumble guys were supposed to " get it touch with our gentler side"!
So, I thought about that a little...and decided that I'd try writing a "Romance Novel" using my "gentler side" approach.
So, here goes....my attempt at "tuning into the feminine approach to writing":
He Grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a
room, his room. Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.
He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low, reassuring
voice close to my ear. "Just relax."
Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands
start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves slowly
but steadily. My breath caught in my throat. I knew I should be afraid,
but somehow I didn't care. His touch was so experienced, so sure.
When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly
closed my eyes. My pulse was pounding. I felt his knowing fingers caress
my abdomen, my ribcage.. And then, as he cupped my firm, full breasts in
his hands, I inhaled sharply. Probing, searching, knowing what he wanted,
he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them down my tingling spine and
into my panties.
Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and
expectant. This is a man, I thought. A man used to taking charge. A man
not used to taking "No" for an answer. A man who would tell me what he
wanted. A man who would look into my soul and say ... "Okay Mam," said a
voice, "All done."
My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling, holding
out my purse. "You can board your flight now."
OMGGGGGGGGGGG! Dave, you are impossible! I fall for it every single time! I was sitting here reading away and thinking you really were trying to write a romance novel. Why, I even thought I'd tell you to get rid of the guy's calloused hands! THEN I wonder why he's starting at her ankles and I can't stop reading....oh geezzzz...and onward thinking, hey, maybe Dave knows what he'd doing after all -- and then....and then....you sicko! LOLLLLLLLL (that's for Marge, the lol that is) you had me rolling on the floor laughing! How do you come up with this stuff? It's fabulous even if you do trick me over and over again :D :D :D
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
OMG!!! LOL!!!! I thought whowah this is gettin sultry and I had to take ah breath. Whew! The ending had me in laughter big time!!!
ReplyDeleteMove over Steele, Dave the GentleMan is here!
Ya... he had me there too Jen....at the ankles? LOL!!!
ReplyDeleteI KNOW it, Toodie! This was really good! Dave is a stitch. I wouldn't miss his blog for anything :D
ReplyDelete(I guess by the time stamp you can see we keep comin' back)
ReplyDeleteThank y'all for your encouragement (you nay be sorry in the future) about my feeble attempt at "writing". Sometimes the worlds of "writing" and "the art of Magic" utilize the tool of misdirection to keep folks attention. (Also, a healthy dose of having a warped sense of humor doesn't hurt much either) Well, it seemed to have worked this time!
ReplyDeleteLord knows what I might come up with if I ever get a laptop and take it down to the cabin where I have "too much free time" and no interuptions!
Dave I think you have the magic to spin ah yarn and twist the ending into something completely different. Gee that sounds like Monty Python.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see yer spin on
"It twas on ah cold winters night...."
Lord! Have! Mercy!
ReplyDeleteDave, that was great!!! I loved it--had me going there for a minute ("where is Dave going with this?")
You give new meaning to the saying, "Still waters run deep." Or, perhaps, "Put on those hip-waders!"
Thanks for a much-needed chuckle today!
Jenny and Toodie: he got me, too!!!
(And thanks for the "lol", Jen...I love you, too, you little stinker!
8 )
(That smiley is for you...)
*snickering*
Dave, you truly outdid yourself this time!!!
ReplyDeleteLOVED it.
HAHA, Marge, I KNEW you'd see that. I hope you know all of that is only in fun. xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteDave, don't you just hate it when a bunch of women get to talking and can't stop?
ReplyDeleteHell, Jenny, I'm used to that! As the old question goes, "If a man is out in a forest all by himself...and utters a statement...is he still wrong?"
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I just ran back to see if you'd seen my note.......you are KILLING ME!
ReplyDeleteThis was really well-done, and very funny. I don't read 'romance' novels, with one exception - the incredible Georgette Heyer's Regency romances (which I regularly re-read) - but I do love a lot of books which I think appeal to women primarily - like Anne Tyler. Mostly it is crime for me - Robert B. Parker seems to have a new one out each month and I can never resist.
ReplyDelete