Paradox

Italian Virgin

Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous.

Her mother reassured her; 'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care
of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.'

So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.'

'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests.. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.'

So, up she went again.. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!'

'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.'

So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!'

Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'

HE'S BACK!

Well....it finally happened....the computer crashed ..... hard-drive fried. Just got another hard-drive put in. Now the fun part..... trying to re-install all the extra crap I had on the old one. And also, trying to go back and bookmark all of my favorite spots!
I had all of my pictures and videos backed up on a separate hard-drive, so, I lost very little.

Depression? Who ME?

I don't think that what I have would be considered "depression" in the clinical sense. I just seem to have an acute case of the blahs! I go through this every Feb and March. It's one of those periods whereas I don't want to get out to "be sociable", or even fool with any of my hobbies. I just seem to want to just burrow up in my man-cave.
I'd say that it is a combination of lack of sunshine and too damned cold to get out and do anything.
I've been this way for about 3 weeks, so I pretty much ruled out the side effects of Chantix ( couple of about 1,000 possible side effects is depression and suicide), or grumpyness from cutting back on cigarettes.
I have been able to go from about 30 cigarettes a day ( as of last weekend) down to 5 today. This Chantix stuff does work great for me, with no side effects. I'm just using them once daily instead of twice.
I was able to quit smoking for the first time ever last year (for about 6 months), but, had something really upset me, and I "lit up" to calm me down. It's like an alcoholic just taking one drink to "take the edge off".
The sad thing was that I was really proud of my accomplishment and was able to actually quit after about a month.
Also, I chipped in $25 per week as my "smoking fine" and ended up with $1300 to use toward the cabin expenses. Effective this week....the fine is $35 per week. This will continue on after I quit, to use as a reward to myself.
I have been credited with many flaws, but one of my worst is being "damned bullheaded" as my Mom used to say. Others just say I'm "pretty stubborn". Well, hopefully this will work in my favor again like it did last year!
I guess I need to "head up into the Mountains" to visit my ole friends, play a little poker, swap lies, and drink a little bit!
Hell....I'm feeling better already just getting this off my chest!

Ricky Jay - The Cups and Balls

This is a beautiful example of "Close-Up Magic.